Mountains to Climb

I wanted to share an experience that I had a few months ago after receiving my mission call. But first, I want to preface it by saying that I have never really been one to cry for others especially in public. Usually when I'm sitting there in fast and testimony meeting and someone shares a particularly touching experience and practically everyone in the room is crying, I am as dry-eyed as can be. It's not that I don't feel for the other person, but I think it's more that I can't relate or I have a hard time relating completely to what they are feeling and so I end up feeling sorry for them or feeling the spirit testify through their story of faith or whatever it be about but not to the extent that I am in tears.

Well, that all changed in the past couple of months. When my friend Madie passed away, I broke down at the creamery on 9th. I didn't care who saw me sobbing. I didn't think about trying to be strong or faithful. I had held it in long enough. It was something in the sound of my mom's voice when I told her what had happened. All of a sudden the reality of it began to sink in. The first words out of my mom's mouth were, "Oh no, her poor mom." That is when I realized the effect this tragedy was having hundreds of miles away in my hometown. That is when I started to understand at least a little better how to see things from another person's perspective, how to feel a little of what they feel.

After Madie's passing, a couple of us who grew up with her met up to just talk a little and share our feelings and mostly our memories of Madie. I remember one of our friends telling a story of how Madie had showed the greatest sympathy to her. She was venting to Madie, crying, and telling her how she felt when Madie started crying. When she asked why she was crying, Madie responded something like, "I just understand how you're feeling and I feel so sorry for you". This really struck me and since that day, I have prayed to have sympathy for others the way Madie did.

Now, back to my original story: A few weeks after I got my mission call, I was sitting in my mission prep class when our teacher showed us this video.

I was tuned in from the very beginning when I saw "Brazil" on the screen just as anyone with a mission call gets excited when they hear something new about their area. Before I knew it, the tears were coming. If I had seen this video a year earlier, I don't think it would have impacted me nearly as much as this video did the moment I saw it. I've had to watch it multiple times since to grasp what President Eyring was saying because I was so wrapped up in the story of these families particularly the Brazilian family. For once, I understood a little bit of what they were going through. I had an idea of the pain they felt having their little boy taken away from them. I had an idea of the emptiness, the regret, the loneliness, and even the anger that they might have felt. And then the contrast that comes when you feel the spirit whispering truths you've known your entire life about eternal families and God's Plan of Happiness. I started to think about how the gospel has helped me and how it's helped Madie's family and other friends.

That's when it hit me what I was called to do- to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ, to declare the good news to families just like this Brazilian family. And suddenly, amid all of the parts of my heart that wanted Madie back, that wanted all of that sorrow to be taken away, was a part of me that started to see things a little more clearly, from the perspective of eternity rather than here and now, as if from the top of a mountain. I started to see the changes for good that took place because of Madie's absence. I started to see the path before me and what I could do to help Madie's legacy live on. And what I had to do to let this trial change me. I saw myself sitting in the home of a family in Brazil experiencing the loss of a loved one and knowing that I would probably cry with them. And maybe sharing my story with them would help them feel a little less alone. Knowing that I couldn't fix what had been broken, but someone could, so I would share with them the story of our Savior Jesus Christ. And He would touch their hearts; He would speak peace to their soul; He would teach them how to overcome the mountain before them; He would make all the difference because He's climbed that mountain.